Penelope Cruz Adds Incest And Lesbianism To Resume's Skills Section For …

Penelope Cruz is upping the ante on t.A.T.u.'s successful fame-grab by taking the whole fake lesbian thing and adding fake incest. The Spanish actress's brother, a rockstar aspirant, is attempting to launch himself onto the world stage with a controversy-courting video starring his two siblings, Penelope y Monica. » 12/28/07 3:58pm 12/28/07 3:58pm

It's Getting So Openly Gay Insectoid Stand-Ups Can't Even Retain Their…

Comic Ant, best known from his failed grab at the Last Comic Standing crown and hosting that show where porked-out C-listers stand on a giant scale in an effort to shed their poundage while retaining their dignity, is the victim of check fraud: An identity thief, likely affecting a piercing voice, has nicked ninety Gs… » 12/28/07 1:56pm 12/28/07 1:56pm

Even Rosie O'Donnell Gets To Top A List At The Listiest Time Of The Year

With its ear pressed firmly to the streets of middle American suburbs, Parade Magazine has released its 2007 Year-End Pop Culture Poll Results. Among the more notable results: 44% percent of poll-takers responded with "Rosie! Rosie O'Donnell! My answer is ROSIE O'DONNELL," when asked, "Who would you consider to be the… » 12/28/07 12:41pm 12/28/07 12:41pm

Poll: Angelina Heaven-Sent Savior of Humanity; Madonna Shrewd…

Angelina Jolie can add another superlative feather in her cap: she's a poll-topper in the all-important Best Celebrity Humanitarian of 2007 caucus. Voters chose the adoptive mother of several Third World tykes specifically because they believe her charitable efforts not to be a calculated effort to land atop the very… » 12/27/07 8:31pm 12/27/07 8:31pm

Sean Connery Held in Contempt by Judge: 'You're Annoying'

Sean Connery isn't just a smooth and dashing Scot, he's also a compulsively litigious thorn in the side of New York State Supreme Court Justice Marcy Friedman. It seems the septuagenarian is engaged in an endless game of "Suit, Countersuit" with his neighbor, in an enmity-charged relationship not seen since Bond thwarted … » 12/27/07 7:30pm 12/27/07 7:30pm

Anyone For A 50% Off, Christmas-Themed Britney Spears Image Party?


It's a little late, but the Jewish media titans controlling this site don't exactly know when the pagan holiday commemorating the birth of your false prophet falls on your calendar; what you call "Christmas," occuring on December 25th, is just regular ol' Tevet 16th, 5768 to us. Having said that, here's a video montage… » 12/27/07 4:45pm 12/27/07 4:45pm

Brendan Fraser's Kids To Soon Ask, 'Mommy, Where's Mummy?'

And you thought they wouldn't last. Actually, you probably haven't thought about them at all, but Revenge of the Mummy: The Ride star Brendan Fraser, and his wife, Afton Smith ("Ursala's Friend" in George of the Jungle) are splitting after nine years. Nine years of marriage. In Hollywood years, that's like not getting… » 12/27/07 1:20pm 12/27/07 1:20pm

'Last Call With Carson Daly' Now Televised Version of Bored and…


You've no doubt noticed that Carson Daly's been demonstrably less gut-bustingly hilarious these past few weeks sans pro writers —the bon mots his niece texts him from math class usually fall flat—but the show hit a new low last night when the material-starved talking head, openly looking to kill a few minutes, held a… » 12/26/07 4:34pm 12/26/07 4:34pm

Jessica Simpson's Career In Retrograde and Other Celebrity Astrological …

Antipodean charlatan-to-the-stars Teymara Antonio-Wright has released her star predictions for 2008, drawing upon the prognostigatory powers of Jupiter's relation to Orion's belt buckle to forecast what the coming year has in store for Dannielynn Birkhead. You can't make this stuff up. A quick pick from the passel over … » 12/26/07 3:12pm 12/26/07 3:12pm

Accident Victim's Possible Fault Could Reduce Brandy's $9 Million-A-Year …

Great news for everyone who knew deep in their hearts that beloved Moesha star Brandy would never intentionally mow down someone on the highway: She may not have! Potentially exculpatory evidence in her ongoing fatal fender-render investigation might have her appraising the talents of mother-and-son plate spinning… » 12/26/07 1:12pm 12/26/07 1:12pm

Britney Spears and Photographer Suspected Of Making Quick F-Stop At…

Britney Spears took the love/hate relationship between a star and the paparazzi to its logical extreme this weekend when she allegedly bedded a photographer who, according to Us Weekly, "regularly covers" the pop star—which means that he either photographs her a lot or that this isn't their first tryst: » 12/24/07 3:01pm 12/24/07 3:01pm

Susan Sarandon's Love Of Champagne And Sparkly Things Unwittingly…

Now they've gone too far: the conflagration known as The Jews Vs. Some Other Jews Vs. Palestinians (come on, U.N., give us a catchier title), has been raging for decades, which was just fine when the victims were hookah bar proprietors, olive cart repairmen, and Lebanese soldiers, but now they've claimed one of our… » 12/24/07 1:10pm 12/24/07 1:10pm

Godless 'Compass' Officially Rubs Vatican The Wrong Way

The unassailable paragon of morality known as the Catholic Church is officially adding to the chorus of complaints about The Golden Compass with a long editorial in the Vatican newspaper l'Osservatore Romano. They're upset because it "promotes a cold and hopeless world without God." (Their displeasure with New Line's… » 12/19/07 4:20pm 12/19/07 4:20pm